Horrorscope

The Week of Living Devilishly

Devilist Weekly Horrorscope!Why do we still read horoscopes? For the same reason we watch the weather forecast — to validate what we already suspect is going on. Plus, astrology is just accurate enough to make it worth the meager investment of time involved in reading a weekly prediction. It’s also far cheaper than therapy (even if you have fancy insurance with a $20 co-pay) and much less likely to result in a therapist trying to bone you, while you’re crying.

What is that magic feeling in the air this week? It’s the delight of October, the beginning of autumn and the end to all the overheated insanity of summertime. Sure, the whole climate change problem has turned the crisp beginning of Fall we once knew in America to something more like “miserable never-ending mid-September,” but those first signs are still in evidence this week: the shorter days, the gorgeous Harvest Moon, the leaves finally turning golden brown due to the season and not the awful drought. Our perennial attraction to the zodiac is in large part due to its perennial nature, the circle of the seasons and the heavens, the knowledge that change will come again, both for the Earth and for each of us.

Libra (September 23-October 22) The start of autumn is the finest time of year for Libras living in the Northern Hemisphere, because it’s the start of Libra’s new year, too. Revel in the autumn colors and chillier evenings. Watch out for posers trying to hog October for their slutty Halloween parties. You know of whom we speak.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) You’re the only other sign with a claim on Fall’s most magical time, but you have to share it with the aforementioned tramps dressed up as the “sexy lobster” or whatever. Don’t fret, just keep your Samhain special by avoiding dumb crowds and frat-boy brutes. Organize an intimate pre-31st dinner and cocktail hour in your neighborhood’s community garden, lit by old-fashioned jack o’lanterns carved from warty squash and pumpkins. Make martinis with black olives.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) … [TK]

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